I don’t think anyone would disagree with the statement that “it takes two” to have a  relationship. Take a listen to Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston in their song by that name. https://youtu.be/KCwe2WftI7Y?si=px2rvxELLc_bKXwN

Further, it takes two people working together to create healthy and intimate connections. As a pastor I’ve done quite a bit of counseling with individuals struggling to develop a relationship, couples preparing to get married, and couples struggling with marriage. One thing I’ve learned is that there’s no shortage of resources on the topic.

As I was pondering on this devotional I decided to do a quick Amazon search and what I found even surprised me. Searching “relationship” and “relationships” identified twenty different categories and I decided to click on the main category of “relationships.” Boy, was I surprised. At the top of the results page it said, “1-24 of over 70,000 results.” Wow, if one wasn’t anxious about relationships beforehand a quick look through the offerings will open up a Pandora’s Box of things to worry about.

I confess that I did not search all 70,000 results, but one thing that struck me was the relative paucity of biblically based resources, hovering at about 3% of the listed books. It’s probably safe to say that searching on specifically Christian or spirituality focused websites would yield a higher result but for those of us who identify as Christians, shouldn’t we start by asking what God desires regarding relationships? And according to research conducted by the Barna Group, spiritually open non-Christians tend to be more accepting of foundational Christian beliefs so when it comes to relationships why not start with the bible? All of which leads me to point number one:

I treat every relationship like a sacred thing. I nurture friendships and deepen connections. I put forth extra effort to understand another person’s point of view. I learn how it feels to give and receive in a loving friendship. Having said that, however, can we really have a “personal relationship” with Jesus as many evangelical and charismatic preachers exhort us to?

The short answer is, Yes! While the phrase “personal relationship” itself may not be explicitly found in the Bible, the concept is rooted in various passages and Christian teachings. One of the foundational elements of Christianity is the belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of God who came to earth to reconcile humanity with God. It really doesn’t get more personal that that, does it? Throughout the New Testament Jesus is portrayed as having close personal relationships with his disciples, teaching them and guiding them in their faith. For example, in John 15:15, Jesus tells them, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” Which leads to my second point:

We need trust to have love and to have trust requires love. I am vulnerable within my relationships. I speak my truth, express my feelings, and allow others to tell theirs. It wasn’t always this way and growing up I tended to hide my feelings. It wasn’t until I began to understand passages such as Romans 8:15-16 and Galatians 4:6-7 that my relationship with Jesus began to spill over into relationships with others. Once we realize what it means to be adopted as children of God we can begin having that close personal relationship with him through the Holy Spirit.

We then are prepared to foster relationships where both parties have equal rights to express themselves and receive feedback on their feelings. We can permit ourselves to be honest about our needs and desires, learn to accept (and give) constructive criticism and feedback. And we take ownership of our words and actions. Which leads to point three:

I know I must put forth the effort to develop and maintain a relationship.

Doing so requires work. Developing a close personal relationship with Jesus and others is a lifelong journey that requires commitment, intentionality, and openness to his transforming work in your life. By incorporating practices such as prayer, Bible study, worship, fellowship, service, and surrender into your daily life (Hint: It’s more than just on Sunday!) you can deepen your connection with Jesus and others and experience the fullness of his love and presence.

In conclusion, I am committed to strengthening my relationship with Jesus, and working to create healthier relationships with everyone I meet. How about you?

Be blessed today my friends! And remember, God loves you and so do I.

Brother Neville